I discovered something very important in my life (with the help of chocolates obviously). So i decided to share the reality check i had and some old bits about myself. So hop on the time machine with me.
In school days I was the prettiest intelligent girl who was never hit on but noticed. And then i made a decision which apparently changed my whole life .
I entered high school taking commerce as my major (we take science or commerce in here). And that school was full of rich bullies. I was laughed at made fun of and my nightmares are there.
And then I entered uni taking the toughest course in the country and cleared through my entrance.
What i didnt realise was , half of my school friends were not friends anymore and i can’t actually have friends in my course (cz that is difficult and having friends will distract us).
And then i entered the next level of my course and studied joyfully. See , I was the intelligent in my school days and i cracked my entrance so i always had this pride on me. I can do it best.
Then i had my first failure. Which broke me. I was the one who always scored 95 + percentage in every class and now i failed.
Then another attempt and another attempt. This time it shook me pretty hard. And now I have only one friend who made it through with me.
I made myself busy in everything to not actually face reality. I completed my goodreads challenge and read many books which were in my tbr and started a blog and all.
What i realised today was , I was just broke. What i needed wasnt success or pride or books or chocolates 😢 . They were what i wanted. What i needed was a change. And this change of entering into books pretty seriously helped me.
But reading isnt new for me. I ve read since i was a kid. Reading and books were always part of my life. But now making it my life for almost a month made me complete again.
To my friends who still try to be with me especially my online friends. Who dont care how i look or how clumsy I am . They care about me. And that is enough for my life.